Sunday journalling prompt

Detoxifying self care

Hello, 

I’ve always kept a special dungeon in my heart for toxic positivity - that online habit of insisting that we must, at all times, look happy so as not to inconvenience everyone else. As I put it in Wintering:

“I always read brutality in those messages: they offer next to nothing. There are days when I can say, with great certainty, that I am not strong enough to manage. And what if I can't hang on in there? What then? These people might as well be leaning into my face, shouting, Cope! Cope! Cope! while spraying perfume into the air to make it all seem nice. The subtext of these messages is clear: misery is not an option. We must carry on looking jolly for the sake of the crowd. While we may no longer see depression as a failure, we expect you to spin it into something meaningful pretty quick. We don't have the answers, after all. And if you can't pull that off, then you'd better disappear from view for a while. You're dragging down the vibe.”

But there’s another online toxicity that too often goes under the radar - let’s call it ‘toxic self-care’. These entreaties seem so innocuous on the face of it. They urge us to prioritise our good health and sanity in a world that leaves us constantly exhausted and stressed. They give us sassy, repeatable sentences to live by; things like ‘Put your own oxygen mask on first!’ and, ‘Own the room!’ You may well ask: where’s the harm?