As a TV producer who spent a career perfecting the art of distraction, I have finally realised I am a victim of my own industry.
Your point about rest being an anxious space is perfectly observed. "Rest" as an idea is drawn from the physical world, in which it's immediately pleasant. I am finding that's far from true for the mind.
I am currently on Day 19 of a 60 day experiment: total mental quiet on my commute from Surbiton. It feels laughable on a packed South West Train, but I am beginning to believe that mental quiet is a muscle that can be built through repetition. If my naughty dog's brain can be rewired by daily training, perhaps mine can too.
I think it’s possible! I used to meditate on the train into work, usually squished up against a stranger. It was actually a great escape and I came to love train meditations best of all!
The image of being squished up against a stranger as a form of escape is the ultimate "rest in motion" 😀.
I am beginning to agree about trains. I started this commute experiment for practical reasons (embedding a daily habit) and I saw the lack of "calm" as a problem to overcome.
Now I am finding that the chaos of the situation means I never even try to seek "calm." And that lack of seeking is itself relaxing!
Outside a mountain retreat I visit annually, trains are my favorite place to rest. I can't explain why, but once on a train my brain instantly shifts to peace.
The idea of retreat has taken on new meaning here in the U.S. I happen to live in Chicago which has seen it's own occupation by the dark side and it's given me a small idea of what it must feel like to live in wartime. The anxiety and fear are ever present and real along with such immense sadness for all that's lost. I chided myself for that comparison at first but I don't anymore. Having been told I'm the enemy by the leader of my own country leaves a mark. Honestly, I'm afraid to travel internationally for fear of agents searching my social media and being detained. I can't believe I'm typing that, but anyway, I feel stuck for now.
I've explained all that to say that retreat for me has changed dramatically. I'm just hoping to cope at this stage and have made a list for myself of things I can do every day to help keep me sane and grounded. I haven't even done well with those yet but it's a process. It's beginning to feel non-negotiable. For now, two hours of not seeing any news or social media is retreat. Watching a series or movie set in a country I love that has more rights and peace than my own is retreat. Reading books set in similar countries is retreat. Doing either of those things when the setting is here but in better times is too painful at the moment because it truly feels like that's gone forever, but I hope one day I can go there again, in my mind, anyway. I dream of the West of Ireland, where I've walked the beaches and searched for holy wells in the hills with my dear Irish friend. I hold the stones and shells I collected there and dream of those times. For now, that is what retreat means to me.
I have had to leave my home in Washington, DC for extended periods of time three times since January 20, 2025. I'm leaving again next month to a literary retreat. It's difficult to be here. When I am here, I take my brain to the UK as often as I can - English literature and literary podcasts, British television, Irish music, Substack by British writers and photographers, websites of British architecture, my own photos from my sojourn to the homes and gardens of Woolf, Sackville-West, Bell, and James. It is easier to put Brexit out of immediate mind than it is to put 47 (I refuse to utter his name). They don't compare in terms of their danger to the world. There it is. Danger to the world and the attempt to obliterate all that is just and beautiful about the US. Lord knows our bellies carry atrocities, particularly to me and my ancestors, but this, now... It's indescribable. I call on my enslaved great-great grandma Lucinda nearly every night asking for strength. If she could make it through slavery, we damn sure will make it through this. Each one pull one.
Thanks for this summary, Katherine. It's very interesting and thought-provoking. What saddens me about the spa day image of rest is that it implies that you need deep pockets to experience it. I loved reading about your selection of guests and all their differing concepts of rest. Your remark that people feel a lot of anxiety about rest is a particularly insightful one.
Yes - we think rest can only come with wealth. And it’s also about coming out more beautiful - more acceptable to the outside world. It’s ultimately quite depressing (much as I love a massage).
This is my new favorite quote, "It strikes me now that whimsy is a vital tool for resisting the brutality and shallowness of modern life. It is not a childish thing, but a rich and mature resource, a means of everyday retreat and a way of nurturing all that is good in the real world." Thank you Katherine for this paradigm of whimsy! Life has taught me that whimsy is childish, selfish, and irresponsible. My heart is lighter today as I grant myself the freedom to remember my more whimsical child-self and to cultivate an adult version of whimsy that brings joy into the world.
I read this little gem last month and loved it. The learned acceptance of the need for rest, the acceptance of the lack of choice about resting, the very active mind amidst the resting— all provided such good lessons, even though my body is not forced into rest by a chronic health condition. To my surprise, I also loved all the things I learned about snails along the way.
Katherine I read this post about 12 hours ago, along with some very thoughtful reflections from other readers, and it has been on my mind ever since. What I’ve found really interesting, and I guess a little sad and concerning is the inkling that people are wishing that they could feel a sense of rest and retreat without going anywhere, wanting to feel safe at home whilst also managing to escape the news cycle. I feel it used to be an attractive idea to get away from the demands of domestic life or work routines, etc - but it’s almost like people want to be able to find comfort in those things and also find rest at home, while somehow managing to retreat from the world and all the worries and tragedies out there? The pervasive manner in which news, and people’s outrage at the news, just lands unbidden into our sanctuaries and private spaces. It will also follow us when we retreat geographically too, unless we manage to do so without any devices whatsoever in tow. Once, we had to deliberately switch on the news, or open a newspaper to engage with information when we were ready to, on our own terms. Now, it lands before our eyes uninvited. I am sure there are ways to put up boundaries to protect our spaces, whether we are trying to retreat and find peace at home, or away. Maybe that’s a thread or thought worth developing. Anyway, as you already know, I’m a great appreciator of your work, thank you!
Thanks for this Ingrid. I think there’s also a tension beneath even this - even if we choose to shut out the news, is it ethical to do so? We’ve opened a Pandora’s box and closing it means looking away from the world’s suffering. But then, we can rarely do anything about that suffering. And so we want to shut it away. We’re stuck in a very strange bind, which makes the very idea of rest even more complex!
It is impossible for me to go full steam without blocks of time to rest. My mental health (or mental illness) won't allow it. Without periods to step away from viewing the world's suffering, history reminds me that I again end up institutionalized. After five times I've learned that retreat is not a luxury. It is a tool for survival. Not complex at all.
Katherine, your podcast has taught me to visit my own personal retreat daily. It’s becoming a place of rest where I can escape the catastrophic state of the world, especially here in the US! Thank you ❤️
I am enjoying these podcasts so much. I watch in the evening on YouTube, cat on my lap, big comfy chair and some knitting at hand. A perfect rest for me. Thank you!
As a TV producer who spent a career perfecting the art of distraction, I have finally realised I am a victim of my own industry.
Your point about rest being an anxious space is perfectly observed. "Rest" as an idea is drawn from the physical world, in which it's immediately pleasant. I am finding that's far from true for the mind.
I am currently on Day 19 of a 60 day experiment: total mental quiet on my commute from Surbiton. It feels laughable on a packed South West Train, but I am beginning to believe that mental quiet is a muscle that can be built through repetition. If my naughty dog's brain can be rewired by daily training, perhaps mine can too.
I think it’s possible! I used to meditate on the train into work, usually squished up against a stranger. It was actually a great escape and I came to love train meditations best of all!
The image of being squished up against a stranger as a form of escape is the ultimate "rest in motion" 😀.
I am beginning to agree about trains. I started this commute experiment for practical reasons (embedding a daily habit) and I saw the lack of "calm" as a problem to overcome.
Now I am finding that the chaos of the situation means I never even try to seek "calm." And that lack of seeking is itself relaxing!
Outside a mountain retreat I visit annually, trains are my favorite place to rest. I can't explain why, but once on a train my brain instantly shifts to peace.
The idea of retreat has taken on new meaning here in the U.S. I happen to live in Chicago which has seen it's own occupation by the dark side and it's given me a small idea of what it must feel like to live in wartime. The anxiety and fear are ever present and real along with such immense sadness for all that's lost. I chided myself for that comparison at first but I don't anymore. Having been told I'm the enemy by the leader of my own country leaves a mark. Honestly, I'm afraid to travel internationally for fear of agents searching my social media and being detained. I can't believe I'm typing that, but anyway, I feel stuck for now.
I've explained all that to say that retreat for me has changed dramatically. I'm just hoping to cope at this stage and have made a list for myself of things I can do every day to help keep me sane and grounded. I haven't even done well with those yet but it's a process. It's beginning to feel non-negotiable. For now, two hours of not seeing any news or social media is retreat. Watching a series or movie set in a country I love that has more rights and peace than my own is retreat. Reading books set in similar countries is retreat. Doing either of those things when the setting is here but in better times is too painful at the moment because it truly feels like that's gone forever, but I hope one day I can go there again, in my mind, anyway. I dream of the West of Ireland, where I've walked the beaches and searched for holy wells in the hills with my dear Irish friend. I hold the stones and shells I collected there and dream of those times. For now, that is what retreat means to me.
I have had to leave my home in Washington, DC for extended periods of time three times since January 20, 2025. I'm leaving again next month to a literary retreat. It's difficult to be here. When I am here, I take my brain to the UK as often as I can - English literature and literary podcasts, British television, Irish music, Substack by British writers and photographers, websites of British architecture, my own photos from my sojourn to the homes and gardens of Woolf, Sackville-West, Bell, and James. It is easier to put Brexit out of immediate mind than it is to put 47 (I refuse to utter his name). They don't compare in terms of their danger to the world. There it is. Danger to the world and the attempt to obliterate all that is just and beautiful about the US. Lord knows our bellies carry atrocities, particularly to me and my ancestors, but this, now... It's indescribable. I call on my enslaved great-great grandma Lucinda nearly every night asking for strength. If she could make it through slavery, we damn sure will make it through this. Each one pull one.
Beautifully said. Wishing you safe and meaningful travel, and for your home to greet you and keep you warm on your return. We'll get there.
Thanks for this summary, Katherine. It's very interesting and thought-provoking. What saddens me about the spa day image of rest is that it implies that you need deep pockets to experience it. I loved reading about your selection of guests and all their differing concepts of rest. Your remark that people feel a lot of anxiety about rest is a particularly insightful one.
Yes - we think rest can only come with wealth. And it’s also about coming out more beautiful - more acceptable to the outside world. It’s ultimately quite depressing (much as I love a massage).
This is my new favorite quote, "It strikes me now that whimsy is a vital tool for resisting the brutality and shallowness of modern life. It is not a childish thing, but a rich and mature resource, a means of everyday retreat and a way of nurturing all that is good in the real world." Thank you Katherine for this paradigm of whimsy! Life has taught me that whimsy is childish, selfish, and irresponsible. My heart is lighter today as I grant myself the freedom to remember my more whimsical child-self and to cultivate an adult version of whimsy that brings joy into the world.
Whimsy matters!
I LOVE The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating. A reread of that book might be exactly what I need at this moment in time.
Excellent!
I read this little gem last month and loved it. The learned acceptance of the need for rest, the acceptance of the lack of choice about resting, the very active mind amidst the resting— all provided such good lessons, even though my body is not forced into rest by a chronic health condition. To my surprise, I also loved all the things I learned about snails along the way.
Katherine I read this post about 12 hours ago, along with some very thoughtful reflections from other readers, and it has been on my mind ever since. What I’ve found really interesting, and I guess a little sad and concerning is the inkling that people are wishing that they could feel a sense of rest and retreat without going anywhere, wanting to feel safe at home whilst also managing to escape the news cycle. I feel it used to be an attractive idea to get away from the demands of domestic life or work routines, etc - but it’s almost like people want to be able to find comfort in those things and also find rest at home, while somehow managing to retreat from the world and all the worries and tragedies out there? The pervasive manner in which news, and people’s outrage at the news, just lands unbidden into our sanctuaries and private spaces. It will also follow us when we retreat geographically too, unless we manage to do so without any devices whatsoever in tow. Once, we had to deliberately switch on the news, or open a newspaper to engage with information when we were ready to, on our own terms. Now, it lands before our eyes uninvited. I am sure there are ways to put up boundaries to protect our spaces, whether we are trying to retreat and find peace at home, or away. Maybe that’s a thread or thought worth developing. Anyway, as you already know, I’m a great appreciator of your work, thank you!
Thanks for this Ingrid. I think there’s also a tension beneath even this - even if we choose to shut out the news, is it ethical to do so? We’ve opened a Pandora’s box and closing it means looking away from the world’s suffering. But then, we can rarely do anything about that suffering. And so we want to shut it away. We’re stuck in a very strange bind, which makes the very idea of rest even more complex!
It is impossible for me to go full steam without blocks of time to rest. My mental health (or mental illness) won't allow it. Without periods to step away from viewing the world's suffering, history reminds me that I again end up institutionalized. After five times I've learned that retreat is not a luxury. It is a tool for survival. Not complex at all.
Katherine, your podcast has taught me to visit my own personal retreat daily. It’s becoming a place of rest where I can escape the catastrophic state of the world, especially here in the US! Thank you ❤️
Well if I can offer a tiny thing to you all right now, I’m glad 🤍
I am enjoying these podcasts so much. I watch in the evening on YouTube, cat on my lap, big comfy chair and some knitting at hand. A perfect rest for me. Thank you!
So glad to hear this!
I LOVE this new format of your podcast, it's so much needed these days!
So glad 😌