Last week, Elissa Altman and I got together to voice something that often goes unspoken when writers talk about their practices: the issue of boundaries.
In some ways, this conversation felt transgressive to me, because I’m telling my audience what I’m not willing to do to please them. That’s a little uncomfortable, to say the least. This is an industry built on dreams, and we are supposed to say that we’re willing to do anything to be here. The problem, for me, is that I’ve seen too many authors get burned out by the always-online, always-available service culture that we’ve stumbled into, wanting desperately to make everyone happy. I’ve also spent too long writing about my own needs as an autistic person to be able to keep up the pretence that I can handle any level of social contact. I just can’t. There has to be a limit.
I’m lucky enough to work with excellent publishers who are sympathetic to my needs. But I know that other authors don’t get the same flexibility; and I know, too, that plenty of people working in the publishing industry don’t get much control over their time and energy either. I think the worst pressures I’ve received are from people who are unable to set their own working boundaries. When everyone is exhausted, compassion disappears. It’s a terrible chain reaction, and one that needs urgently to be solved.
So, while this conversation is about boundaries for writers, I think it says something universal about boundaries too. Identifying the limits of what I can do is not a sign that I don’t value the incredible opportunities that I have, nor that I don’t adore my readers and enjoy their company. It is instead about knowing what I need in order to keep well, and to keep on writing books. Which is, after all, the point of the whole thing.
A couple of links that I mention in the conversation:
My Language and Accommodations guide, which goes out to anyone who books me for a live or online event.
My autism resource page on my website.
Look out for today’s bonus email, a recording of last month’s Creative Questions, in which Elissa and I tackle queries about burnout, kindling creativity, and staying true to your own voice.
Take care,
Katherine
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Elissa & Katherine talk… boundaries