This was such a beautiful read. It made me laugh, and also feel so very sad. You are brave to have gone on that retreat- knowing you'd have some confronting to do (and you are brave to buy (and wear!), white pants!!!). We tell our daughter that before she was with us, her soul lived up in space, amongst the stars, with all her friends playing, waiting to pick the moment to come join us.
Thank you so much, Ruth! I am still fairly certain that the bravery of white pants is going to bite me (in the literal you-know-where, no less), sooner or later. 😜
I love what you’ve told your daughter. It makes perfect sense to me.
Thank you for this beautiful piece as I navigate the loss of my oldest son on the heels of losing my best friend, grief is the ocean I swim in while also living life. Being with all of it, learning my heart can hold it all... ❤️
Learning that my heart CAN hold it all has been one of grief’s greatest gifts to me. I never thought I would ever say that, and there are plenty of times—most of the time!—when it doesn’t feel like a gift at all. But we can and we do, somehow.
I’m holding you and your grief close too, Barb. I hope you have a wonderful, soft day.
Amanda, this was such a beautiful read. Thank you for sharing! I relate to this so much. Always trying to prepare myself for grief and loss, but then feeling frustrated that my “preparation” doesn’t feel like enough. I still have to go through it. Such is the nature of life. I love how beautifully you wrote about it—as someone who often has exceptions about creating beautiful experiences, I’m often disappointed when life’s natural unpredictability steps in. Working to accept life for what it is, is key. Thank you for sharing ❤️❤️❤️
I may brave some white pants. Thank you. I to lost my best friend around the same time as you .Have you written about this . I have found it a very lonely experience grieving for a best friend. Would love to read your experience.
Hi Lorraine—thank you so much for this. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend, and for having to move through all of these last few years without them. I hope that the journey has brought moments of light for you even as I know it has also been so hard.
I have indeed written more about Jess, and the journey now without her. It’s going to be a book in the bearish future! You can read more about her over on my Substack:
I too lost my best friend to cancer in 2021 and found friend loss to be deep and not well understood. I’d love to read more from Amanda on this as well.
Hi Barb—thank you for this, and I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend as well. Friendship loss is such a journey, I am finding. I hope your journey has also brought you comfort even in the midst of the grief.
You can read more about my grief over Jess on my Substack—and in a little while in book form! See below.
“…Sometimes, all we can do is be small under the sky. There is no understanding to be had…”. I love this and think it perfectly summarizes how we learn to navigate grief. Beautiful essay, thank you.
Beautiful! Thank you so much Amanda 🤍
Thank you so much for the opportunity, Katherine!
🤍🤍🤍
This was such a beautiful read. It made me laugh, and also feel so very sad. You are brave to have gone on that retreat- knowing you'd have some confronting to do (and you are brave to buy (and wear!), white pants!!!). We tell our daughter that before she was with us, her soul lived up in space, amongst the stars, with all her friends playing, waiting to pick the moment to come join us.
Thank you so much, Ruth! I am still fairly certain that the bravery of white pants is going to bite me (in the literal you-know-where, no less), sooner or later. 😜
I love what you’ve told your daughter. It makes perfect sense to me.
xoxo
Thank you for this beautiful piece as I navigate the loss of my oldest son on the heels of losing my best friend, grief is the ocean I swim in while also living life. Being with all of it, learning my heart can hold it all... ❤️
Learning that my heart CAN hold it all has been one of grief’s greatest gifts to me. I never thought I would ever say that, and there are plenty of times—most of the time!—when it doesn’t feel like a gift at all. But we can and we do, somehow.
I’m holding you and your grief close too, Barb. I hope you have a wonderful, soft day.
Thank you. 💕
Amanda, this was such a beautiful read. Thank you for sharing! I relate to this so much. Always trying to prepare myself for grief and loss, but then feeling frustrated that my “preparation” doesn’t feel like enough. I still have to go through it. Such is the nature of life. I love how beautifully you wrote about it—as someone who often has exceptions about creating beautiful experiences, I’m often disappointed when life’s natural unpredictability steps in. Working to accept life for what it is, is key. Thank you for sharing ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for reading! ❤️❤️
So beautiful and the very best kind of funny sad. Thank you
Thank you so much for reading, Katy!
I may brave some white pants. Thank you. I to lost my best friend around the same time as you .Have you written about this . I have found it a very lonely experience grieving for a best friend. Would love to read your experience.
Hi Lorraine—thank you so much for this. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend, and for having to move through all of these last few years without them. I hope that the journey has brought moments of light for you even as I know it has also been so hard.
I have indeed written more about Jess, and the journey now without her. It’s going to be a book in the bearish future! You can read more about her over on my Substack:
Https://amandaleduc.substack.com.
❤️❤️
Thank you . I will . X
I too lost my best friend to cancer in 2021 and found friend loss to be deep and not well understood. I’d love to read more from Amanda on this as well.
Hi Barb—thank you for this, and I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend as well. Friendship loss is such a journey, I am finding. I hope your journey has also brought you comfort even in the midst of the grief.
You can read more about my grief over Jess on my Substack—and in a little while in book form! See below.
https://amandaleduc.substack.com
❤️❤️
Thank you. Look forward to reading more.
🤍
Wow i just loved this, thank you ❤️
Thank you so much for reading, Yvette!
“…Sometimes, all we can do is be small under the sky. There is no understanding to be had…”. I love this and think it perfectly summarizes how we learn to navigate grief. Beautiful essay, thank you.