I will do a sort of grounding where I identify what is here right now. Whenever I get served up a plate of “What if’s,” I turn to simple things that help me not dissociate (and spiral). The ones I’ve been saying the last few days are:
There are walls around me in my house.
There’s food in my kitchen.
There are friends who listen to me.
There’s coconut milk creamer for my coffee.
My daughter is in her bed.
My dogs are playing in the mud.
For me, making it through a hard day is more about connecting with the neutrality around me rather than trying to coax my way to some concocted place of “happiness.” Because the reality is I’m smarter than “it’ll be OK” fluff. I know there’s so much on the line in today’s election. I am building bridges to neutrality and current, present moment safety.
A very hard day for all of us here in the US. An even harder day for those of us who experienced trauma at the hands of a man, and left us with little agency: T triggers every reminder of that trauma, ever fear, every somatic response my body can muster. And that’s before I even get in to the particulars of what this could mean for my wife and me. How will I ground myself: being outside. Being near a moving body of water. Breathing as deeply as I can. Being with the dog, who apparently has no idea what’s happening. Napping. Holding my wife’s hand. Reading poetry. Drawing, even though I’m a really shitty artist. 🙏🏻❤️
"Drawing, even though I'm a really shitty artist," is such a great idea. I've been trying to do more sketchbook type stuff (inspired by Samantha Dion Baker on here). Your day sounds lovely. Hand holding, napping, breathing deeply, and the moving body of water is so healing. Thinking of you and your wife. (And dog.)
Thank you for speaking to this, Elissa. This is me, too, and the terror... I am with you, and with all who've suffered this kind of trauma. Thinking of you and your wife, too.
This fabulous quote from last year’s post is the essence of my prayer for us all today. “It’s one of the reasons that I don’t lose my faith in humanity at times like this: the air is thick with care. This is when we feel our human connection most powerfully.”
As always, thank you for your beautiful words, Katherine.
It's hard to know how we'll stay grounded today. I've already received a notice from my son's school preparing us for the possibility of a move to remote learning - in New York City. That feels more ominous than any news report. I've chosen to focus on my kids, who have lived through one life-changing event (pandemic) and may be in for another much sooner than any of us had feared. Yesterday, my son and I baked one of his toddlerhood snacks together, something that involved a rolling pin and tiny animal-shaped cookie cutters. I cooked my family their favorite comfort dinner. We gathered on the sofa to watch something that made us all laugh. Today I'll offer walks outside, conversations about the courage of Harry, Lyra, and their many other literary heroes, and look for ways to see the needs of others so we can pour our anxiety into assistance. It's so hard to prepare them for events we cannot imagine the shape of ourselves. But this is a start.
In my part of Vermont there’s no shortage of Trump supporters and plenty of third party supporters too. That makes it really depressing. But I feel in my gut that Kamala is going to win big and I’m trying to manifest that feeling today. If it turns out I’m wrong, so be it. At least I won’t have spent today making myself any more sick than I have for the past few weeks.
The anxiety and uncertainty are palpable. I’m staying grounded by going to work: I’m a university professor. My students are voting in their first presidential election. We’ll talk about this. And then we’ll do our work, because staying in the routine and in community is how we cope. It helps that I am an English professor. In one class, I am introducing a new assignment that has as its subtitle “Why am I so angry and what can I do about it?” They will pick a problem and write to someone who can effect change. Our opening freewrite is “What’s pissing you off?” The other class is literature, specifically Native American Literature, where we are learning to witness hard truths and to understand that writing and listening is medicine.
"The other class is literature, specifically Native American Literature, where we are learning to witness hard truths and to understand that writing and listening is medicine." This is so hard to learn and so necessary. Thank you for the this reminder.
I went in before the polls opened today, and waited just over an hour to vote. I found myself lost in the shadows we made while waiting. There was an equality there that I was longing for. I grabbed two I voted stickers for my boys. Now I’m just trying to get through an e-learning day (our district scheduled it).
NYtimes had a meditation on its Opinion page, which was perfect. Even though I could access many meditations at Calm or wherever, it was great to be faced with this grounding strategy when I had started down the "wrong" path (i.e., reading the paper first thing). Will make easy (pre-made) biscuits in the oven soon and get out for a walk by the river soon. Focus on work during the usual work-times if possible maybe make some last-minute voter calls. Will make a simple soup like maybe this one: https://www.keepingthepeas.com/vegan-irish-stew/#recipe-video or a tortellini-chickpea soup. Was thinking would be nice to have a giant batch on the slow cooker so neighbors who wander in as results start coming in can easily grab a bowl. Journaling also whenever I can. And checking back here to see what others are doing!
Thank you, Katherine! I've voted in advance by mail, and, along with my ballot, I'm casting whatever positive energy I can into the ether for the outcome I feel will be most beneficial to my country and the world! I plan to take advantage of the gorgeous weather here along the Virginia coast by walking, and allowing Nature to teach me how to release anxiety effectively, as she always does. Later I plan to delve into Susanna Clarke's new story, and then take up my knitting. Knitting is so Zen! ☺️ Thank you again for your good wishes.
I voted early, which has helped a bit I think. So far today, walked the dog, put the sheep out to pasture, meditated, did laundry, and took a long walk by myself. A couple of the sheep were fighting, which had a way of getting my mind off the election. Animals definitely help with that.
I'll journal, and maybe read, and then this evening I'll go to the library where I work one evening a week. It will keep me away from the news reports. It's hard not to fear the worst and get my thoughts spiraling into a dystopian future.
The book club Kathrine led a couple months ago got me to sign up for Oliver Burkeman's newsletter, The Imperfectionist. His letter last week was about the election and he wrote how instead of worrying and focusing on the future, we can "devotedly embody(ing), in your everyday actions, the kind of world you take yourself to be fighting for." I keep thinking about how to do that - those small acts of caring for each other and ourselves. This conversation is definitely one of them. Thank you, Katherine.
I took one of my dogs for a hike at first light here in New Hampshire and stood looking out at the distant mountains and hills once I got to the top. I took many deep breaths and tried to relax my body. I laughed watching my dog get the zoomies in a field along the trail, her goofy joy showing on her face and, in turn, on mine. Since tomorrow morning also promises to be tough, as we see what happens and who will try to deny it and how much violence those denials spark, I plan to take my other dog for a first-light hike then too.
Dogs have gotten me through most of my life. Like you say the next few days will be especially rough. I will be counting on walking and the dog to help me, too.
Not reading too many news articles about the election. Breathing. It's probably why I haven't slept well for a couple of nights. Going to school to sing with the Kindergarten as they learn new songs for a Native American Program that they are in. When I was a teacher being with them kept me grounded in school. 'Berta
Yesterday I was dropping off a package at FedEx and as I walked out, the clerk said to me, “Stay safe tomorrow!” He sounded skeptical about our safety. Well, if it isn’t safe to vote today, we know which candidate’s supporters will be making it so. I voted early.
In upstate NY schools are closed today so I am very distracted (in the best way) by my grandsons. We’ve already been for a long walk and we may go to the library later. Both good activities for an election day! Tonight I’ll meditate online with my meditation/silent prayer group and then decide if I want to watch TV or not. I’m anxious, but also optimistic.
Basically trying to stave off a panic attack. I’ll be walking to the polls soon to vote. I’ve got a few books nearby that I’m turning to throughout the day:
Wintering (obviously)
A Vessel Born to Float - Yazmin Monet Watkins
Where Hope Comes From - Nikita Gill
And I’m listening to the audiobook of The Night Circus - Erin Morgenstern.
I’ve decided to keep my bird feeders topped up today instead of just my usual one fill a day, so that I always have some feathered friends around.
A very hard day. I woke up already overwhelmed, anxious, unfocused. I'm wondering how I am going to get through this day.
I'm getting outside today, even for a few moments. I spent 10 minutes in "meditation" (as in, I sat in a meditative posture with ambient sounds, but my mind was racing). I hugged and kissed my daughter goodbye at school. I started a load of laundry. I'll cook dinner, and spend time with my family this evening.
I will do a sort of grounding where I identify what is here right now. Whenever I get served up a plate of “What if’s,” I turn to simple things that help me not dissociate (and spiral). The ones I’ve been saying the last few days are:
There are walls around me in my house.
There’s food in my kitchen.
There are friends who listen to me.
There’s coconut milk creamer for my coffee.
My daughter is in her bed.
My dogs are playing in the mud.
For me, making it through a hard day is more about connecting with the neutrality around me rather than trying to coax my way to some concocted place of “happiness.” Because the reality is I’m smarter than “it’ll be OK” fluff. I know there’s so much on the line in today’s election. I am building bridges to neutrality and current, present moment safety.
How lovely!
I like that approach.
A very hard day for all of us here in the US. An even harder day for those of us who experienced trauma at the hands of a man, and left us with little agency: T triggers every reminder of that trauma, ever fear, every somatic response my body can muster. And that’s before I even get in to the particulars of what this could mean for my wife and me. How will I ground myself: being outside. Being near a moving body of water. Breathing as deeply as I can. Being with the dog, who apparently has no idea what’s happening. Napping. Holding my wife’s hand. Reading poetry. Drawing, even though I’m a really shitty artist. 🙏🏻❤️
Terrible drawings still work 🤍
"Drawing, even though I'm a really shitty artist," is such a great idea. I've been trying to do more sketchbook type stuff (inspired by Samantha Dion Baker on here). Your day sounds lovely. Hand holding, napping, breathing deeply, and the moving body of water is so healing. Thinking of you and your wife. (And dog.)
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you for speaking to this, Elissa. This is me, too, and the terror... I am with you, and with all who've suffered this kind of trauma. Thinking of you and your wife, too.
Good day to all around the world-
This fabulous quote from last year’s post is the essence of my prayer for us all today. “It’s one of the reasons that I don’t lose my faith in humanity at times like this: the air is thick with care. This is when we feel our human connection most powerfully.”
As always, thank you for your beautiful words, Katherine.
🙏🙏🙏
Ohhh I love that quote! May the air be thick with care today.
It's hard to know how we'll stay grounded today. I've already received a notice from my son's school preparing us for the possibility of a move to remote learning - in New York City. That feels more ominous than any news report. I've chosen to focus on my kids, who have lived through one life-changing event (pandemic) and may be in for another much sooner than any of us had feared. Yesterday, my son and I baked one of his toddlerhood snacks together, something that involved a rolling pin and tiny animal-shaped cookie cutters. I cooked my family their favorite comfort dinner. We gathered on the sofa to watch something that made us all laugh. Today I'll offer walks outside, conversations about the courage of Harry, Lyra, and their many other literary heroes, and look for ways to see the needs of others so we can pour our anxiety into assistance. It's so hard to prepare them for events we cannot imagine the shape of ourselves. But this is a start.
Wow, that remote learning alert must have hit hard. I love that you’re baking 🤍
In my part of Vermont there’s no shortage of Trump supporters and plenty of third party supporters too. That makes it really depressing. But I feel in my gut that Kamala is going to win big and I’m trying to manifest that feeling today. If it turns out I’m wrong, so be it. At least I won’t have spent today making myself any more sick than I have for the past few weeks.
That’s a good plan!
She will!
The anxiety and uncertainty are palpable. I’m staying grounded by going to work: I’m a university professor. My students are voting in their first presidential election. We’ll talk about this. And then we’ll do our work, because staying in the routine and in community is how we cope. It helps that I am an English professor. In one class, I am introducing a new assignment that has as its subtitle “Why am I so angry and what can I do about it?” They will pick a problem and write to someone who can effect change. Our opening freewrite is “What’s pissing you off?” The other class is literature, specifically Native American Literature, where we are learning to witness hard truths and to understand that writing and listening is medicine.
'Staying in routine and in community is how we cope' - yes!
I may also re-read my well-loved and battered copy of Rebecca Solnit’s “Hope in the Dark.”
I love Rebecca Solnit but haven't read that one - will add to my list!
"The other class is literature, specifically Native American Literature, where we are learning to witness hard truths and to understand that writing and listening is medicine." This is so hard to learn and so necessary. Thank you for the this reminder.
I’m sending love from Canada to all of my US neighbours. We’ve got you 💖
I went in before the polls opened today, and waited just over an hour to vote. I found myself lost in the shadows we made while waiting. There was an equality there that I was longing for. I grabbed two I voted stickers for my boys. Now I’m just trying to get through an e-learning day (our district scheduled it).
Stickers help a lot :)
NYtimes had a meditation on its Opinion page, which was perfect. Even though I could access many meditations at Calm or wherever, it was great to be faced with this grounding strategy when I had started down the "wrong" path (i.e., reading the paper first thing). Will make easy (pre-made) biscuits in the oven soon and get out for a walk by the river soon. Focus on work during the usual work-times if possible maybe make some last-minute voter calls. Will make a simple soup like maybe this one: https://www.keepingthepeas.com/vegan-irish-stew/#recipe-video or a tortellini-chickpea soup. Was thinking would be nice to have a giant batch on the slow cooker so neighbors who wander in as results start coming in can easily grab a bowl. Journaling also whenever I can. And checking back here to see what others are doing!
That sounds great!
I found the meditation on the NY Times Opinion page, too. It was very helpful.
Totally!!! Glad you found it too.
Thank you, Katherine! I've voted in advance by mail, and, along with my ballot, I'm casting whatever positive energy I can into the ether for the outcome I feel will be most beneficial to my country and the world! I plan to take advantage of the gorgeous weather here along the Virginia coast by walking, and allowing Nature to teach me how to release anxiety effectively, as she always does. Later I plan to delve into Susanna Clarke's new story, and then take up my knitting. Knitting is so Zen! ☺️ Thank you again for your good wishes.
Oh I am SO excited about Susanna Clark’s book - I only found out about it yesterday! Hopefully it’ll arrive today :)
I voted early, which has helped a bit I think. So far today, walked the dog, put the sheep out to pasture, meditated, did laundry, and took a long walk by myself. A couple of the sheep were fighting, which had a way of getting my mind off the election. Animals definitely help with that.
I'll journal, and maybe read, and then this evening I'll go to the library where I work one evening a week. It will keep me away from the news reports. It's hard not to fear the worst and get my thoughts spiraling into a dystopian future.
The book club Kathrine led a couple months ago got me to sign up for Oliver Burkeman's newsletter, The Imperfectionist. His letter last week was about the election and he wrote how instead of worrying and focusing on the future, we can "devotedly embody(ing), in your everyday actions, the kind of world you take yourself to be fighting for." I keep thinking about how to do that - those small acts of caring for each other and ourselves. This conversation is definitely one of them. Thank you, Katherine.
Oliver’s newsletter is excellent!
I took one of my dogs for a hike at first light here in New Hampshire and stood looking out at the distant mountains and hills once I got to the top. I took many deep breaths and tried to relax my body. I laughed watching my dog get the zoomies in a field along the trail, her goofy joy showing on her face and, in turn, on mine. Since tomorrow morning also promises to be tough, as we see what happens and who will try to deny it and how much violence those denials spark, I plan to take my other dog for a first-light hike then too.
That's right - the journey doesn't end today (sadly).
Dogs have gotten me through most of my life. Like you say the next few days will be especially rough. I will be counting on walking and the dog to help me, too.
Not reading too many news articles about the election. Breathing. It's probably why I haven't slept well for a couple of nights. Going to school to sing with the Kindergarten as they learn new songs for a Native American Program that they are in. When I was a teacher being with them kept me grounded in school. 'Berta
Yesterday I was dropping off a package at FedEx and as I walked out, the clerk said to me, “Stay safe tomorrow!” He sounded skeptical about our safety. Well, if it isn’t safe to vote today, we know which candidate’s supporters will be making it so. I voted early.
In upstate NY schools are closed today so I am very distracted (in the best way) by my grandsons. We’ve already been for a long walk and we may go to the library later. Both good activities for an election day! Tonight I’ll meditate online with my meditation/silent prayer group and then decide if I want to watch TV or not. I’m anxious, but also optimistic.
Basically trying to stave off a panic attack. I’ll be walking to the polls soon to vote. I’ve got a few books nearby that I’m turning to throughout the day:
Wintering (obviously)
A Vessel Born to Float - Yazmin Monet Watkins
Where Hope Comes From - Nikita Gill
And I’m listening to the audiobook of The Night Circus - Erin Morgenstern.
I’ve decided to keep my bird feeders topped up today instead of just my usual one fill a day, so that I always have some feathered friends around.
Ah yes, today is a good day to take care of the birds 🤍
Keeping the bird feeders full is at the top of my list for today, too!
A very hard day. I woke up already overwhelmed, anxious, unfocused. I'm wondering how I am going to get through this day.
I'm getting outside today, even for a few moments. I spent 10 minutes in "meditation" (as in, I sat in a meditative posture with ambient sounds, but my mind was racing). I hugged and kissed my daughter goodbye at school. I started a load of laundry. I'll cook dinner, and spend time with my family this evening.
Those are good, important things 🤍