Briefly: Recommendations | From you | Join my Patreon Community Hello, ‘Next week, all this will break. That’s what I keep telling myself. That’s what I know.’ Here in the northern hemisphere, we have nearly reached the summer solstice. The days are long. It was light in my bedroom at 4am this morning, and of course I didn’t sleep after that. Last night, I went to sleep while the sky was still bright. The world around me feels relentless, unceasing, and I am relentless too, driven by some force that tells me nothing is enough. My brain is fogged with all the things I must do. The space between my desires and capabilities is almost painful.
It's a relief to hear the 'particular madness' of this time of year articulated so well. I've had a similar feeling and been grasping for the words to talk about it. Thanks for this lovely reflection.
Thank you for this! Now with climate change I feel so much existential dread on long hot summer days and it’s hard when so many other people seem to love to soak in the sun. But extremes do send me off kilter, so this helps me give language to that feeling.
This was an exquisite read - thank you. I so enjoyed your perspective, as I actually love midsummer so much, I never want to let it go. Perhaps having been born close to it partly explains my feelings. And knowing it’ll soon pass makes me a little melancholic!
When I lived on the Isle of Lewis for two years, I quite honestly went a bit mad each summer. I'd wake at 3 am with the first glimmer of sunlight, believing I'd slept through my alarm. Or I'd find myself outside gardening at 10:30 pm when all I wanted to do was fall asleep. My body and mind were utterly confused.
I can well imagine! I keep waking up at 3.55 on the dot. Then I go back to sleep about 5.30 and so I don’t want to wake up when it’s time. It’s infuriating!
Thank you for this. It so well articulated how this season has felt for me. The rush and crush of too much has been amplified by the fact that I have a book releasing ON the solstice, June 21st. So, I’ll be celebrating solstice by watching the sunset at the end of a big day, remembering the rhythm that we all must rest before we rise.
New subscriber here. So well said, "particular madness" with "unsteady balance" between. I always feel like this time of year holds so much pressure with the long hours of blaring sunlight and so much to do with so little energy. Thank you for putting it into words.
Exactly this. Morning and evening bright blinding light. There’s some being about it (and when it’s deep winter too, with dark mornings and dark nights) that feels so oppressive.
I have slowly but surely being trying to life my life more cyclically. I used to struggle with ‘my winter’ so much and then I had my third baby last December was unwell before and afterwards with different ailments. Being forced into winter for 9 months now I’ve made friends with it....and now I can’t abide it’s polar opposite, summer. A reason (101) for my ‘summer sabbatical’ from Instagram is because I don’t look forward to summer, I don’t like summer, I don’t want to dress scantily and I don’t want to embrace it and it’s heat.
And this is exactly how I used to winter (except the clothes off part). So I have hope but in the meantime, I am embracing my winter of life, one menstrual cycle of summer each month is enough for me.
But all that said, yes, I will be celebrating summer solstice! It marks 6 months since my daughter was born on winter solstice, which is special. But I will set up an altar of sorts, plan a scavenger hunt with the children, stay up late and star gaze, eat outside, let them get their hands dirty and plant something new and give thanks to Mother Earth, basically tune into nature that but more!
Thanks Katherine, I was wondering why I felt so aimless and weighed down and at the same time weightless! It’s good to remember it’s an extreme time and be patient for change. Beautifully put ☺️
Ooh that's such a great way of putting it - weighed down and weightless! The sun has stopped moving across the sky at the moment, so it's a bit like the slack of the tide.
It's a relief to hear the 'particular madness' of this time of year articulated so well. I've had a similar feeling and been grasping for the words to talk about it. Thanks for this lovely reflection.
It's great to know that other people feel it too!
Thank you for this! Now with climate change I feel so much existential dread on long hot summer days and it’s hard when so many other people seem to love to soak in the sun. But extremes do send me off kilter, so this helps me give language to that feeling.
This was an exquisite read - thank you. I so enjoyed your perspective, as I actually love midsummer so much, I never want to let it go. Perhaps having been born close to it partly explains my feelings. And knowing it’ll soon pass makes me a little melancholic!
How lovely to be a midsummer baby! I imagine you love to drink in all that wild energy that I find so overwhelming at this time of year :)
Exactly - I was walking through the park earlier and literally imbibing all its delicious summer smells.
When I lived on the Isle of Lewis for two years, I quite honestly went a bit mad each summer. I'd wake at 3 am with the first glimmer of sunlight, believing I'd slept through my alarm. Or I'd find myself outside gardening at 10:30 pm when all I wanted to do was fall asleep. My body and mind were utterly confused.
I can well imagine! I keep waking up at 3.55 on the dot. Then I go back to sleep about 5.30 and so I don’t want to wake up when it’s time. It’s infuriating!
Thank you for this. It so well articulated how this season has felt for me. The rush and crush of too much has been amplified by the fact that I have a book releasing ON the solstice, June 21st. So, I’ll be celebrating solstice by watching the sunset at the end of a big day, remembering the rhythm that we all must rest before we rise.
Wow that's a big moment to release a book! Congratulations :)
New subscriber here. So well said, "particular madness" with "unsteady balance" between. I always feel like this time of year holds so much pressure with the long hours of blaring sunlight and so much to do with so little energy. Thank you for putting it into words.
Welcome, Wendy! And thanks - I much prefer late summer, when everything gets more ragged and easy.
Exactly this. Morning and evening bright blinding light. There’s some being about it (and when it’s deep winter too, with dark mornings and dark nights) that feels so oppressive.
I have slowly but surely being trying to life my life more cyclically. I used to struggle with ‘my winter’ so much and then I had my third baby last December was unwell before and afterwards with different ailments. Being forced into winter for 9 months now I’ve made friends with it....and now I can’t abide it’s polar opposite, summer. A reason (101) for my ‘summer sabbatical’ from Instagram is because I don’t look forward to summer, I don’t like summer, I don’t want to dress scantily and I don’t want to embrace it and it’s heat.
And this is exactly how I used to winter (except the clothes off part). So I have hope but in the meantime, I am embracing my winter of life, one menstrual cycle of summer each month is enough for me.
But all that said, yes, I will be celebrating summer solstice! It marks 6 months since my daughter was born on winter solstice, which is special. But I will set up an altar of sorts, plan a scavenger hunt with the children, stay up late and star gaze, eat outside, let them get their hands dirty and plant something new and give thanks to Mother Earth, basically tune into nature that but more!
This is so beautifully written. And I too look forward to inching my way toward the despair of midwinter - at least THAT despair I can do in pajamas.
Thank you! Yes, despair feels so much more appropriate in the dark!
Thanks Katherine, I was wondering why I felt so aimless and weighed down and at the same time weightless! It’s good to remember it’s an extreme time and be patient for change. Beautifully put ☺️
Ooh that's such a great way of putting it - weighed down and weightless! The sun has stopped moving across the sky at the moment, so it's a bit like the slack of the tide.
How lovely to have a solstice baby! It’s all about adapting isn’t it? And noticing how each part of the year makes you feel.
So glad it's not just me who feels it!